This is another pattern I am so often falling into: I am in a situation where I do not know what is going on. Then I have two choices: I don't say anything or I ask what is going on. I have been doing the latter until people got really pissed at me for "asking questions I know the answer to". So I upgraded asking questions to stating my assumptions about what I think may be going on and asking for confirmation whether I am correct. Then people tell me I am nagging and picking on their words. I also tried not saying anything, which ultimately leads to people coming back to me asking why I didn't say anything and asking me to ask next time. And being pissed at doing something wrong or not doing something because of that.
This is insane. I so often make people annoyed and irritated, just by trying not to not give a damn. And when I do not do this they say I am irresponsible.
It was exactly the same when I was a kid. My parents were just so annoyed with some of my questions/requests to them that they would just tell me to shut up. So now whenever I am in a situation when I do not know what is going on and I do not feel easy around someone, I feel really stressed. I weigh every word, evaluate every sentence, hesitate multiple time whether to say it or not, try to predict if it is a needed one or annoying one. And still, in maybe 40% of the cases I am wrong. Still people get pissed at me. And over time they invent malicious reasons why I behave like I behave.
This is horrible. I spend so much energy on that each day. And then I hear I'm not considerate enough..