Showing all posts tagged #feminity:


Investment of yourself

Posted on May 16th, 2018

I have been thinking of making myself as good as possible in order to "invest" myself to some man. Now I am thinking: what if I gain more by self investing? It is like starting an own business only in order to sell it later, but then realizing that no ...

Breakdown

Posted on November 11th, 2017

For some reason I just got another breakdown. A long lasting flashback. I am trying to track it back and I remember a moment of thinking "oh, remember the times of freaking out, it was so pleasant to dissociate and put on any mask that I feel like wear...

'Moment of Excellence'

Posted on August 31st, 2017

We had a presentation at work about coaching technique called "Moment of Excellence". It's about remembering vividly a moment from the past when we greatly succeeded at something, next naming our qualities we proved there, then finding an anchor that r...

'You have a good life'

Posted on July 11th, 2017

"You have a good life", said the waiter at a restaurant. I asked what he meant, he said "well just look at yourself". Yes.. I wonder what he would say if one day he heard that this beautiful smiling successful woman who could not ask for anything else ...

A slut

Posted on April 27th, 2017

Oh crap. It finally got to me. The split in how I see myself, the split between me-angel and me-slut. It's one-to-one fit to the narcissist's view of women! Conditioned by my father, the society, and then consecutive jerks, I have been trying to estab...

Changes, changes

Posted on April 17th, 2017

I saw a woman in a billboard advertising underwear. Something new: instead of hearing the subconscious message "she's a whore", "she's pathetic", "she's a stupid cunt", I just thought "she looks happy". Wow. Completely different situation than usual. S...

Games I play

Posted on December 12th, 2016

I have been thinking about my self image a lot recently. I was recently with some people and I imagined what would happen if my boyfriend showed up out of the blue. I was a bit tired which helped me in a realisation that before I could even react to s...