No, you openly trying to impress your male friends by dancing with me does not impress me. For the four songs that we danced together the only topic you found was my level of German - the deepness and uniqueness of this conversation does not impress me...

Hey this is so obvious why I feel terrible when someone has a crush on me. The obsessive kind of crush where they don't even know me yet, but already assign me characteristics they would like to see in a woman, and create some idealized picture of me....

And now about the shitty feeling I mentioned in one of the previous posts - yes I recently realized that it's a very specific feeling and that I have it quite often. It has a lot to do with feeling worthless and disgusting. Big. Old. Not fitting in. ...