Showing all posts tagged #cptsd:
Excessive sensitivity and CPTSD
Posted on July 6th, 2019
I have been thinking since several days about the topic of people who are more sensitive than the average. Sensitive, as in perceiving more than the average person. It may be things like hearing sounds better, but also spontaneously thinking deeper abo...
What does not work
Posted on March 25th, 2019
It is very frustrating to make such a step backwards like I did in last months. I am watching the video of Richard Grannon, the "Cure to CPTSD" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHREvAiAnCs. And I am also thinking that..
I think I know why I crashed so ...
The blackout feeling
Posted on September 10th, 2018
I have identified what it means when I have this blackout feeling of not being able to focus or even think. I feel like I am totally stupid, not able to put my thoughts together, and all I want to do is give up and just curl up on the floor.
It is kin...
Extreme forgetfulness
Posted on July 10th, 2018
I was quite stressed out recently, by having made a mistake that resulted from forgetting something important. Then I got so stressed, I started forgetting even more, and getting more stressed because of that. Right now my whole body is so tense it sta...
Suicidal thoughts of a borderline
Posted on January 12th, 2018
I remember thinking that I won't be able to take this life as such at one point. That eventually suicide will be the only possible option. I really wanted to die. I thought I was pathetic and useless. And all I can say to that now is: I was right. I wa...
Covert-aggressive people
Posted on October 14th, 2017
I have just finished reading a book called "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People" and I learned something very important from it: apart from traumatized people there are also covert-aggressive people who at the first ...
Brain wiring that keeps you alone
Posted on August 8th, 2017
Okay Richard Grannon was talking about a conceptual prison camp where they hit you and at the same time shout "aw!", as a metaphor for how CPTSD is formed. What if they were hitting you just after appearing to give you a friendly hug, and then still sa...
My last relationship
Posted on July 30th, 2017
Emotionally unstable personality. And I say covert narcissist. Somehow I had such a strong feeling that I understand everything he's been going through. Everything sounded like taken from my own thought script. And why I wanted to sacrifice myself just...
Q2 Checkpoint
Posted on July 15th, 2017
Progress since the last checkpoint.
I have learned that:I have read about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and it is mind blowing. Have not actually learned it, but it is interesting. Also hypnosis and self affirmations fall under this category. It ...
The values and identity
Posted on July 1st, 2017
I read once that the biggest threat to people recovering from CPTSD is giving up because they are not good at noticing progress, as the progress in such cases is really slow. So I am trying to actively monitor this as well, i.e. pay attention to any li...
Metallica and CPTSD
Posted on June 14th, 2017
The lyrics of Metallica have a lot to do with CPTSD in the end. Dirty Window, Invisible Kid, even Prince Charming or King Nothing. The Day That Never Comes is about PTSD. No wonder I love them. No wonder they speak to me and to so many people.
I got i...
The waking up moment
Posted on May 15th, 2017
Indeed as mentioned in the CPTSD book, I do experience an unpleasant feeling when I wake up. I mean, not only because I have to get up, but I feel as if I did something bad and slightly disappointed that I actually woke up to live one more day. And ind...
Inner critic vs inner terrorist
Posted on May 8th, 2017
Regarding the CPTSD Pete Walker's book, and the inner critic: I think that in some situations what I experience is more like an inner terrorist. It's not saying "you're useless, you should die", it's rather saying "and now I'm gonna kill you" with a ma...
'Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving' by Pete Walker
Posted on May 7th, 2017
This book is absolutely brilliant. It is packed with information. It takes an alternative view to DSM-like categorisation of personality disorders: instead of categorising of what is wrong with whom, it focuses on the real cause of those disorders. It ...
The child observation test
Posted on May 2nd, 2017
I really wonder how much could a simple technique of watching a little child interact with their parents in a healthy way serve as a therapeutic method. I've been doing that with the same baby girl over a few years now, and have just seen her again. Th...
Language as a CPTSD trigger
Posted on April 29th, 2017
I just realized why I feel so bad and trapped when I'm in Poland. The whole language and the manner of speaking is a CPTSD trigger for me. That's why I also avoid Polish people abroad. I used to think that our culture is simply toxic, but now I think i...
Snow in April and Christmas songs in summer
Posted on April 28th, 2017
I have been recently reading about NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming). I won't describe it here, but it is super interesting and scary concept, one of mind blowing things about the brain. In this post I want to address two things that refer to what is ...
Bodily pain sensation
Posted on April 26th, 2017
I've been paying attention to my body sensations, and now I can actually clearly feel it: my whole body is aching inside. It's almost a physical feeling. It feels as if someone poured acid inside me and now it is spreading very slowly.
I had a relatio...
Q1 Checkpoint
Posted on April 10th, 2017
Let's make a checkpoint, a summary of the progress I made since December 2016.
I have learned that:
I am a classical codependent and this causes so much stress in my life, prevents me from knowing who I am and what I want; I have been always strugglin...
