I have made two mistakes, which costed me a slide back into severe depression, probably worse than ever. A step away from the end. Mistake number 1: Isolation. I wanted to work on myself and my codependency, so I kept myself form away from any social...

I don't know what is wrong with me. I am terrified now. It seems I have left one matrix just to enter another one. Did I really get so involved with this narcissist topic that I started discarding real people? It seems that everything I have built in t...

I remember thinking that I won't be able to take this life as such at one point. That eventually suicide will be the only possible option. I really wanted to die. I thought I was pathetic and useless. And all I can say to that now is: I was right. I wa...

The topic of CPTSD turns out to be very fertile when it comes to new discoveries. I have for example just learned where the since-always-present relieving idea of killing myself came from. It's actually a result of feeling so terrible and shitty as a t...