Showing all posts tagged #emotions:
Emotional Intelligence - it was just the beginning
Posted on March 12th, 2023
So something occurred to me. I spent a big portion of my life learning to notice my emotions, to name them, to express them, describe them, analyse them, connect them, and understand them.
But in the end, this is such a tiny part of emotional intellig...
Is shame a negative emotion?
Posted on December 8th, 2018
I just listened to a poem/song about it in my native language.. and realised something.. that shame may originally not be negative. Maybe it is our parents who make it negative, because they use it to educate us, by combining shame with withdrawing lov...
Long term effects of Vipassana course
Posted on August 9th, 2018
I'm writing it from a standpoint of a really lazy individual who was unable to maintain Vipassana practice longer than 1 day after the 10 days course. Yet, still.. I do believe after 1 year I continue to experience long term effects of that 10 days cou...
'No one really means what they say'
Posted on June 11th, 2018
I have recently realised that I'm having a strong mental filter that prevents authentic connection and keeps me in loneliness. This filter was also making itself invisible.
The filter is that when someone says or does something, my understanding is th...
Improv theater therapy
Posted on June 8th, 2018
Now, after a few days' intensive improv workshops with both people who I know and who I just met, I can no longer claim that what we do on stage is just a play, a game, something that has nothing to do with reality. It has everything to do with reality...
Why people react with irrational emotions
Posted on May 8th, 2018
Cecilia just got quite emotionally destroyed. The guy she's been dating for a month now didn't reply her text message for one hour. Her friends are quite concerned about her and tell her that she's being too controlling, too clingy and too desperate to...
I have been taking over other people's emotions!
Posted on February 15th, 2018
Being raised in a toxic home I became super sensitive to what people around me feel, and almost I would know what they think. But I never got the concept of separateness, so I would take those feelings and thoughts as my own.
Now it is so clear that t...
Dramatic emails
Posted on November 2nd, 2017
I took a long message I wrote. Sounded as always dramatic. I removed all "just", "but, "very", "only". Read it again. Sounded authentic.
Loss of meaning in too many emotion manipulating words.
The "but"s point at avoiding responsibility. The "only" a...
Grateful for the right people
Posted on October 22nd, 2017
I have just spent an awesome weekend with people who I could just talk and talk and I was feeling understood, validated, interested in the topics they were speaking about, and almost re-parented. I spoke with an old married couple and it is unbelievabl...
'Superficially emotional' singers
Posted on October 9th, 2017
Okay so in the end something has changed in the way I perceive other people in comparison to the last year. I wrote before about emotions inside out on stage. I was just watching a concert of Beyoncé on the trip in a TV screen and her making the contac...
Feeding off emotions
Posted on August 19th, 2017
Another narcissistic trait that I have observed in myself: I enjoy seeing people in strong emotional states. Whether the state is positive or negative does not really matter. As long as their emotional state does not put me in danger, of course.
Maybe...
People on stage
Posted on August 5th, 2017
I bet many of them are emotionally unstable. They have their emotions inside out: what they should keep in they puke outside and what they should have inside they don't have. That's why we love them so much. Artists. Singers. They can puke their emotio...
Schema therapy exercise
Posted on June 28th, 2017
Okay, I will try to verbalise how I understand how schema therapy works.
Because having knee problems at the moment it is funny how I make analogy between physiotherapeutic massage that releases tense muscles that accumulated over time and schema ther...
Metallica and CPTSD
Posted on June 14th, 2017
The lyrics of Metallica have a lot to do with CPTSD in the end. Dirty Window, Invisible Kid, even Prince Charming or King Nothing. The Day That Never Comes is about PTSD. No wonder I love them. No wonder they speak to me and to so many people.
I got i...
The fear of things being better
Posted on May 9th, 2017
Oh this is so primal that I have not seen it before, but indeed what hinders me from taking action to make my life better is the fear of things becoming better.
It's the phenomena I have often read about but now I have to say that not only I understan...
Primal attraction
Posted on April 19th, 2017
RAW THOUGHTS
I am still going deeper into watching my inner world closely. I noticed something strange recently, looking at people trying to improvise a dance.
I realised I felt compulsive attraction to some people when I looked at their movements, bo...
Shaking
Posted on April 18th, 2017
I thought it's just weird neurological reaction or maybe I'm cold, but it is actually a way for the body of releasing suppressed emotions. So whenever it happens while e.g. talking about something that feels significant it's a good sign!
The brain stores memories with no emotions attached
Posted on April 18th, 2017
.. in hippocampus, and amygdala reacts to those memories with emotions when the memories are recalled.
I just read this somewhere. But hey this means that the emotions are dynamically generated each time a memory is accessed. How come that each time I...
Q1 Checkpoint
Posted on April 10th, 2017
Let's make a checkpoint, a summary of the progress I made since December 2016.
I have learned that:
I am a classical codependent and this causes so much stress in my life, prevents me from knowing who I am and what I want; I have been always strugglin...
The lifetime's discovery
Posted on April 6th, 2017
I was writing some time ago that the emotions are never wrong, but I made it explicit that I am writing only about basic emotions. And now I am thinking.. in fact no emotions are wrong. In fact one cannot tell that the other's perception of reality, wa...
Love at first sight
Posted on March 29th, 2017
Instant attraction towards a newly met person. It does not have to feel like love from the beginning. But soon you find yourself thinking about this person too much, almost obsessing about them, craving their company, I guess you just fell in love? No ...
Schema therapy - the beginning
Posted on March 29th, 2017
Okay so after a few sessions I just got the first verballisable impression of what it is about. DBT improves the behavioral patterns, and schema therapy tries to heal the faulty emotional response patterns that lie below the behavioral misadaptation. O...
Why emotions are so scary
Posted on March 24th, 2017
I heard it somewhere recently and have thought about it for some time, and now that I am sure that it is true I want to write it.
Emotions from the past seem so scary, because we were just children when we were first encountered them!
I am writing he...
Can a culture enable emotional disorders
Posted on March 23rd, 2017
It often makes me wonder: a country doing so well economically yet still such a high percentage of smokers. I don't have to look into the statistics, seeing people outside means seeing people smoking.
Smoking helps suppressing emotions. German culture...
Digging inside yourself pays off
Posted on March 19th, 2017
I don't know if it is a long lasting effect of Vipassana, or the fact that I have actually decided that I do want to get better. Cross that out, I want to recover, regardless of what it takes.
Nothing happens without a reason. Stupid Bollywood movie a...
Freaking out in relationships
Posted on March 17th, 2017
That is one problem that has been bothering me a lot - when I get into a relationship I very soon start getting paranoid that this person does not care or that they will leave me and then I start freaking out - which is making the relationship impossib...
The power of emotional breakdown
Posted on March 15th, 2017
In 2015 I have been to Rainbow Family gathering. On the outside it looks like a sort of a hippie community, but in fact it has everything to do with facilitating generally understood spiritual development. It's not a sect. It's a group of like minded p...
Feeling the unpleasant
Posted on March 4th, 2017
Yes in the end paying attention to the unpleasant feelings was worth it. First I noticed that I'm feeling down, then I noticed that there was this particular emotion wearing me down, then I asked myself where it was in the body, then I forgot about the...
The problem with 'loving yourself'
Posted on March 1st, 2017
Many sources say that to heal from emotional pain of childhood one has to learn to love themselves. But there is a fundamental problem with that:
I can't love someone I do not know.
Even more, I can't love someone when I do not even know that they ex...
What it means to freak out
Posted on February 26th, 2017
For a great amount of time I thought that beating my borderline would be to learn to not freak out despite of unpleasant emotions. And this is what I often read online, that borderline is about feeling emotions too strongly in comparison to a regular p...
