Showing all posts tagged #feeling:
The exile feeling
Posted on October 17th, 2018
Today it got me back. Just like I felt at school, the same I felt today as an adult between people who just a few months ago I considered friends. I felt condemned by them, disapproved, avoided, contempted. I felt shame and pain.
I got a bit deeper in...
The feeling of 'it's too late, try harder'
Posted on September 12th, 2018
Sometimes it's so difficult to consciously notice something that's always been there.
The feeling of impossible urgency. As a teenager I had a repeating dream where I would be preparing to leave the house and my father was sitting in the car, engine a...
The sawdust feeling
Posted on September 10th, 2018
Another feeling that I can now clearly identify. Because I don't have a name for it let's call it "sawdust" - as it feels like almost choking on something dry, something you can't shake off you and something that dampens the sensations coming from outs...
The blackout feeling
Posted on September 10th, 2018
I have identified what it means when I have this blackout feeling of not being able to focus or even think. I feel like I am totally stupid, not able to put my thoughts together, and all I want to do is give up and just curl up on the floor.
It is kin...
The feeling of novelty
Posted on August 31st, 2018
I've realised that the fact that when I was younger I felt more hopeful and excited about the future than I am now, may have been caused by the physical sensations in the body connected to it growing rather than deteriorating. Funny. But that buzzing f...
Being constantly 'confused'
Posted on August 29th, 2018
This is another pattern I am so often falling into: I am in a situation where I do not know what is going on. Then I have two choices: I don't say anything or I ask what is going on. I have been doing the latter until people got really pissed at me for...
