Visiting home for Christmas after my sister has moved out. Everything is even more clear than before. It is a highly dysfunctional, not to say toxic environment. And I had to grow up, learn about life and love here. Not only that, being the oldest sibling that has been trained to be highly codependent I have felt personally responsible and guilty for all of this. I am truly amazed that I am still alive, that I have actually made it as far as to be able to see it today.
Now when I am here I can see emotional abuse, gas-lighting, silent treatment and negative feelings of resentment on a daily basis. I actually witness it on average every 10 minutes. And few years back I have not realised that any of this has been going on. Every person in this house is suffering emotionally, constantly. People should not have to suffer like this.
And let me tell you something, decades back it all started from.. alcohol.