I had a therapeutic a session with a wise Polish woman and she gave me this amazing tool: how to find out what a certain body sensation means:
  • relax, feel your breath
  • do the body scan
  • feel the sensation
  • let your body position itself in a way that follows this sensation
Maybe it was just a coincidence that it worked for me, but I discovered something about the constant sensation that resides in a big portion of my right side of the torso and my right arm, and gets intensified when I interact with men, especially men in my family.
I followed the sensation and..
.. I found myself lying curled up on my right side, with my right arm curled under my torso, protecting myself with my left shoulder from an imaginary hit.
It is a position of someone who has been beaten down to the ground and now is being kicked and is just struggling for survival in a curled up position. I have no clue if such situation actually occurred, according to what I know it is not likely. I don't know where it comes from.
It is genuine fear. But how much more this body position tells about this fear than the mere word "fear" does!