Today about the topic of mad eyes. Of a man looking at me with rage on his face and me looking into his eyes and behind those eyes seeing just emptiness.
It is also a look of someone who is totally drunk/wasted.
It is also a look which I believe that I have when I freak out.
It is a look that I often give myself when I look into the mirror.
This is the look that my father would give me in the moments when he would not be ignoring me. And of course it would cause a feeling of euphoria, because even if I was hit, I was at least noticed for a moment. At least at those moments I felt I existed. A small child really feels that it ceases to exist when its parents ignore it, as it has no concept of self.
Mad look is not something I should be attracted to. It's dangerous. My reaction to it has been very disturbed.