Some time ago I thought that if someone has some personality disorder it should be possible to create a happy relationship with this person if only one is ready for compromises and adjusts one's lifestyle to that person.
Wrong. Two wrong things.
Firstly, what I wrote above is what is needed for a relationship with a normal person.
Second, with a disordered person it is not possible to have a relationship, that's it. They will always tweak and pull towards destruction. They're unable to stay in a balanced state. The more you try to balance the relationship out the more they will fight to destroy it. That's at the core definition of disorder. Disorder - there will be no order, no happiness, no safety, no love, no intimacy, no matter how much effort, love and patience you put into it. It's just broken. And I'm one of them, and I know it. Though I'm trying.
I was thinking recently about the difference between myself from 1 year ago and now. I'd call my old self a sissy, and a loser. My 1 year ago one would see me as yet another heartless person who wants to hurt them, and that would hurt even more since it's me myself who betrayed myself. What can I say.. Did I actually die? Did the old one got the suicide she was dreaming of? Maybe indeed there was no other way for that old me, than to die? And indeed she dies, she's barely here anymore.