It just occurred to me. Take everything your father made you think about yourself, comprehend this mental picture, grab it all with your mind, and then firmly tell yourself "that was an illusion", "that was not true", "this is NOT me". Imagine getting out of that box. Effect: confusion. What is true then?! Panic. Searching for an alternative. Very vague shape of concept of something. And then gone, lost, I'm back at the start. Then I start this metal process again.
Then I take everything my mother made me think of me. And do the same. Actually with the mother it's much harder, as there's the part of identification with the gender.
I think that after doing it a few times this vague concept of something starts to take more shape. This something being the real me.
I start to question. Question what my parents made me believe about myself. I realise that I can question literally everything they have told me. E.g. that I'm calm and have no opinion. That's just what was convenient for them! All they said about me was telling more about them than about me. In the end how accurate do I think my mother or father would be in seeing through a newly met person? They are both clueless, out of touch with reality. Why would I think that they have been any less clueless with me?
I'm doing the following mirror test: I look at myself in the mirror and register my reaction. It does change, slowly, but it does.