Sometimes I wonder if making such analogy between business and emotional life could be helpful for other people too. I found that sometimes it is helpful to translate emotional problems to business problems, solve those problems on professional level, and then move the solution back to the emotional world. It helps me to apply the "healthy adult" mindset to my emotional world that is hijacked by the little child.

But now I have just taken it to a deeper level. Such observation just struck me: a job where I actually do not know what is exactly expected from me but anything can be made my fault, where I have accountability but no responsibility, where communication is proxied through certain people, where the strategic direction changes every few months, where hell no, I do not trust that the ones above me know what they are doing, and people who I have to obey are clueless. Does it not remind me of something? Does it not feel exactly like home felt? Is this not why I am constantly triggered at work? And is my past not the reason why I did not see that this workplace is not a good place?

And it is so ironic that working there I came to the wrong conclusion that "I am so fucked up that I cannot even do my job". No, I am not fucked up, both my childhood and my job are fucked up, but not me.