What I'm noticing in the last days is that I've started to do and behave in the ways I used to be repelled by in the past. I got enough flexibility to change my point of view on them and I'm exercising the possibilities of the new ways.
So for example I hated being elegant. It really repelled me. I used to think that I'm above some stupid superficial concerns like nice shoes or jewelry. I considered such interests vain. I also thought I'd never be able to talk in a girlish manner with other women as I saw it as being stupid and superficial. I thought I'd never be able to respect someone who puts too much effort into their image. I hated being organised and keeping my desk clean. I thought it would be an ultimate expression of being a boring adult who is only waiting for death and a sign of being close-minded.
What I want to say is that my value system was tailored in the way that was preventing me from growing up! So many things about which I felt a strong "noooo this is so not right", was actually a Peter Pan's scream for not growing up. And the truth is, that once one is old enough it's far less hurtful (for self and for others) to be an adult than to be a child. I have myself built perception walls around me, and their role was to keep me in the child's develpmental stage. Now as I learn more about the real world, those walls seem to get cracks in them. I start seeing how things that I considered boring, stupid, superficial and vain are actually essential to move on with my life.