Why do we attract toxic relationships
Posted on May 26th, 2017
Why do we attract toxic relationships - because we want someone who will love us crazily, more than anything else, and who will not be able to live without us. A normal healthy person does not love in this way. A normal healthy person is with us because at the moment it works out, because they appreciate us and respect us, and even if they hold some romantic feeling towards us, it does not mean that there isn't a dozen potential partners for them at the same time. Looking for a crazy love relationship can only bring you a crazy partner.
I just identified my man type - someone who is defective. Yes. I just saw a smiling optimistic man, self confident, and I realised I could not imagine a relationship with someone like that. I asked myself a honest "why", and the answer is - because I would not feel important enough. Because this person will never depend on me, because they're self sufficient. Because they're not defective. And what does a deficient partner bring? A hole that I can fill. Do I really wanna be a hole filling?
A self confident happy man is smiling at me and asking what's up - and no, I cannot imagine myself reacting to that. I would try to give him a message "hey dude, sorry wrong number, try somewhere else". I'd feel guilty. I'd feel too defective to interact with him on his level. Why do I feel this way? Did my father even interact with me on that level? No. I think he's not able to do it with anyone.